Navigating the dusty, sun-bleached dunes of the frontier requires more than just a quick trigger finger; it requires a keen eye for the world's many hidden secrets. One of the most rewarding and humorous side activities you will encounter is the quest to reunite each Far Far West cactus family. This "Desert Secret" task involves tracking down six different parent cacti who have lost their eccentric offspring across the map. Completing the Far Far West cactus family questline is essential for players looking to optimize their combat efficiency, as the final reward provides a unique tactical advantage that can turn the tide of difficult encounters.
In this guide, we will break down the exact coordinates for every family member, provide strategies for transporting the "cactus babies" through hostile territory, and explain how to utilize the legendary reward you receive upon completion. Whether you are dodging marauders or hunting for premium rocks, this walkthrough covers everything you need to know about these prickly personalities.
Quest Mechanics and Preparation
Before you set out to find the Far Far West cactus family members, you must understand the unique mechanics of this quest. Unlike standard fetch quests where items are stored in your inventory, cactus babies must be physically carried. This introduces several gameplay restrictions that make the journey back to the parent quite challenging.
When you pick up a cactus baby, you are essentially entering a "transport mode." To succeed, keep the following rules in mind:
| Action | Status | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Mounting (Roach) | Disabled | You cannot ride your mount while carrying a cactus. |
| Spellcasting | Disabled | Magic and special abilities are locked while your hands are full. |
| Sprint | Enabled | You can still run, but keep an eye on your stamina bar. |
| Using "Boings" | Enabled | Jump pads and environmental launchers are the best way to move quickly. |
| Combat | Limited | You cannot use primary weapons; dodging is your best defense. |
Warning: If you take damage from a high-level marauder or fall from a great height, you may drop the cactus baby, forcing you to pick them up again or, in some cases, restart the trek from the kid's original spawn point.
1. Johnny and the Oasis Fish
The first family encounter is located near a small oasis. The parent cactus is distraught because their son, Johnny, has a fundamental misunderstanding of cactus biology. Johnny has decided he wants to feed the colony with fish—despite the fact that cacti do not eat fish.
To find Johnny, head to the small pond located near a marauder camp. You will see the little guy standing by the water with a fishing rod, waiting for a bite that will never come.
- Parent Location: Near the central oasis area.
- Kid Location: The small pond adjacent to the marauder outpost.
- Dialogue Highlight: Johnny's parent affectionately refers to him as "dumb as a rock, but he's my rock."
2. The "Dominance" Kid and the Marauder Camp
Located on the northern shore of the island, you will find a large cactus parent whose child has been watching far too many action movies. This specific Far Far West cactus family member has wandered off to the largest marauder camp in the region to "assert dominance" over the bandits.
This is one of the most dangerous retrievals because the camp is heavily guarded. Since you cannot use spells or your mount, you must rely on stealth or clear the camp of enemies before picking up the child. The kid can be found right in the heart of the enemy territory, quoting famous cinema lines.
- Parent Location: Northern shore, right on the coastline.
- Kid Location: The center of the largest marauder camp.
- Tactical Tip: Clear the perimeter of the camp first. Once you pick up the kid, you are vulnerable, so ensure the path back to the shore is empty of hostiles.
3. The Pipe Cactus and the Alien Bait
This encounter features some of the darker humor found in the game. You will find a pipe cactus parent who has intentionally placed his child on a series of industrial pipes. The parent's logic? He is using the kid as bait for aliens. However, he quickly realizes that the aliens might actually eat the child and asks for your help.
The child is nestled in a small "nest" on the pipes located between large rock formations. This requires some platforming to reach.
| Step | Objective | Location |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Locate Pipe Parent | Southern industrial zone near the rocks. |
| 2 | Platforming | Climb the rock faces to reach the elevated pipes. |
| 3 | Retrieval | Pick up the kid from the nest. |
| 4 | Return | Carefully drop down the rocks to return to the parent. |
4. The Bone Cactus and the "Planker"
The Bone Cactus family is found in a more desolate part of the desert. The mother cactus is looking for her "baby" who has an obsession with skeletal remains. She will refer to the player as a "planker," a unique piece of dialogue that has become a favorite among the community.
The baby is located in a cavernous area filled with large prehistoric bones. You will find him among the skulls and ribs, refusing to leave his "treasures."
- Parent Location: Near the Grotto entrance.
- Kid Location: The Big Bone graveyard/cavern.
- Strategy: The path between the grotto and the bone graveyard is narrow. Avoid pulling aggro from local wildlife, as you cannot fight back effectively while carrying the "planker."
5. The Pirate Poet of the North
On the opposite side of the map, near a small pyramid structure, lives a parent who speaks exclusively in rhyme. His child, a pirate-loving rascal, ran away simply because he couldn't stand the constant poetry anymore.
You can find the pirate kid on the far northern edge of the map. He is easy to spot due to his distinct pirate-themed dialogue. The journey back to the pyramid is long, so utilizing "boings" (jump pads) found along the cliffside is highly recommended to shave minutes off your travel time.
Tip: If you lose your way, look for the pyramid silhouette on the horizon; it serves as a perfect landmark for this leg of the quest.
6. The Premium Rock Taster
The final Far Far West cactus family is located near another pyramid. This duo shares a hobby: tasting rocks. The child has ditched the parent because he found a "premium" rock and didn't want to share the flavor.
You will find the kid on top of a nearby pyramid, literally licking the stone. Once you bring him back, the father is less interested in the reunion and more interested in getting his turn to taste the "premium gravel."
- Parent Location: Base of the small southern pyramid.
- Kid Location: Apex of the secondary pyramid.
- Reward Trigger: Returning this final child will complete the "Desert Secret" achievement and unlock your reward.
Reward: The Cactus Day Joker
Once all six families are reunited, you unlock the Cactus Day Joker. This is a powerful passive item/ability that significantly boosts your combat capabilities in the open world.
Cactus Day Joker Effects:
- Minion Spawning: Whenever you kill an enemy, there is a high probability of spawning a cactus minion.
- Distraction: The minion draws enemy aggro, allowing you to reload or cast spells safely.
- Duration: The minion stays active for 15 seconds or until destroyed.
For more information on high-level gear, check out the official Far Far West community guides for the latest build strategies.
FAQ
Q: Can I complete the Far Far West cactus family quest in any order?
A: Yes, the families can be reunited in any order you choose. However, you must finish all six to receive the Cactus Day Joker reward.
Q: What happens if I drop the cactus baby in the water?
A: If a cactus baby is dropped in deep water or off a map boundary, they will typically respawn at their original "found" location, requiring you to go back and pick them up again.
Q: Do I need to fight the marauders to get the dominance kid?
A: It is highly recommended. Because you cannot use weapons or spells while carrying a member of the Far Far West cactus family, trying to run through a camp of active marauders usually ends in failure.
Q: Is the Cactus Day Joker permanent?
A: Yes, once unlocked, the Cactus Day Joker is a permanent addition to your character's capabilities, though it can be toggled in the equipment menu depending on your current build.